I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
