hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
