it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
