i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
