Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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