I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
