Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
