let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
