Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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