I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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