Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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