I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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