is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
