Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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