you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
there is puke in my bra ... again
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