I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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