i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
