I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
