Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I AM VODKA MAN
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
