The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
