Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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