I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
