I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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