I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I could fuck to npr.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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