guys are not supposed to queef...right?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
