community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize