How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
