Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
