when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
