brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
