Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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