My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
