It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
