I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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