i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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