I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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