It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
