I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
