how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
my poor anus
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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