This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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