She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
