Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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