she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
