The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I want a musical about memes.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
