dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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