And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
