He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize