Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dicks are not precious.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
