Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
