He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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