The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize