It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
