I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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