1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm always down for nudity.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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