Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
