i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
