The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
