So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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