If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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