Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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