I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
