she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
